Reactions to these blog posts:
http://www.mtlblog.com/2015/06/dating-in-montreal-sucks-and-heres-why/ and the follow-up http://www.mtlblog.com/2015/06/montreal-man-honestly-responds-to-the-dating-in-montreal-sucks-and-heres-why-article/
I don’t think the original article was supposed to be taken seriously. It’s so sexist in the way it implies women should be treated…
- Splitting the bill. I have a job. I’m capable of paying my way. I’d read a comment somewhere (I think a 9gag post) about how when guys pay, sometimes there’s this sense of entitlement that comes with it. Like I paid for you so you owe me something physical. Personally, I don’t like the power imbalance that comes with someone paying for me. I enjoy being treated but I have every intention of balancing it out. Though women are still paid less per dollar than men earn for the same jobs…but we need equal pay, not to smooth out it out with meals.
- This is a dig at “golddiggers”
- Why are you assuming that we lack the sense to dress for the weather or that we’d go into a situation and rely on a guy for our comfort. Women are capable of dressing fashionably and appropriately. Please.
- This is a dig at women caring more about looks than practicality
- Keeping the door open for someone if you’ve walked through first is human decency. This “always let the woman go first” business… I don’t understand it. The woman can be the face of the duo as well. Everyone, let’s just open doors for people that around.
- This is a dig at the need for princess treatment
- Timeliness is great on anyone.
- This is a dig at the stereotyped woman who isn’t on time and is “getting ready” when a date has to wait for her. This also undermines a woman’s ability to commute to a meeting place.
- Giving up a seat. I think you should do this if it’s for someone who’s pregnant, older, or disabled and unfortunately there’s a gender bias towards women since pregnant women are lumped in that group. I don’t understand the rationale behind giving up a seat at a friend’s home though? I feel like sometimes these odd exceptions are done to be “chivalrous” but really it reinforces how women need to be given preferential treatment…which is funny because this doesn’t happen in the workplace. Just equal out the hiring and promotional rates between men and women (or otherwise identified), the things that matter, not focus on silly life things like giving up a seat. Don’t give me a chair because of my gender. Give it up if I have a physical frailty that makes me need it more than you.
- No one should talk with a mouth full, so this one I agree with. Please conform to these society standards that we’re so used to when in this North American context.
- Advising a man to make sure he brings a woman to her front steps after drinks. I feel like this would put both parties at a more vulnerable position. It’s late, you have alcohol in you, and you’re near a room. Depending on the company, I don’t know if this would make a woman more or less safe.
- Don’t disrespect people working in service – I agree.
- Because this is in an post about so-called common problems with Montreal men, this point implies that a woman being unrealistic and needy is typical. Instead the author could’ve said to have clear communication to show maturity. This is something we should do as humans. Why are we prescribing all these things to men and saying they must be “gentlemen” and that women should look for these treatments?
- She got this one right. Man or woman, using the word “slut” to shame someone or tarnish a reputation – that’s wrong.
The article is writing from a heterosexual relationship POV, so I’m responding with these gendered pronouns.
I feel like this whole article was set up in a way where someone was supposed to respond, “How can you expect all these from a man when you women…[insert sexist stereotypes here]…”