ta reese a: tease era

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Friday night I went out till 3 am
The next day I spent it with two almost strangers and a good friend

Life has been different

Filed under: life, Montreal

Still here

Hesitant.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Disappointment

People lie. I forgot about that part

Filed under: people

The only time I hear from him

At least I’m on his drunken mind

Filed under: life

day one

so far,

language exchange

board game friend

dance learner

food eater

This online people meeting so far is great
…but let’s meet up with them first.

Filed under: people, , ,

isn’t it funny

I’m looking at the pictures right now of my time in Montreal way back when. It’s funny how some of those are my fondest memories because they’re also 100% my memories. There was nobody to share them with. Really and truly.

I already feel like I’m entering that sad stage that I also get into before leaving or while I’m there. Like I’ve been making photo collages and then right now I’m literally sitting here on the ground thinking, this is just going to remind me of how little we talk every time I look at the pictures. Because if I’m being honest, I get the impression that no one really cares when I tell them how scared I am about all of this. I feel like I talk and they listen and then they change the topic. I mean, I know this has happened so many times before and I should be fine with it, but it comes down to the same nervousness each time. I wish it wasn’t like this.

You know how there are those people that you’d talk to in a group setting but never one on one? Why is that? What is it about that person that makes you not want to talk be alone with him/her?

Filed under: feelings

the core

When I started talking to more people, more people with minds that were already open, that I didn’t have to argue against every time and wonder if they were ignorant vs. satirical, I began getting irritated every time you spoke. I’m not talking to you anymore and you’re no longer part of the core list of people that I think of when I have something to share.

I realized awhile ago that you’re an attention seeker and you do and say a lot to get a reaction out of me. That’s not the type of person I’d like to keep in my life.

Peace.

Filed under: friendships

dealing

you get the cards you’re dealt

you deal with it

so when you’re dealing with stress

Filed under: random

out of place

image

taking me out of a place makes me feel awkward, uneasy, excited, and scared.

and what does it mean when I feel out of place? That I’m uncomfortable.

so is this similar to how in French instead of I miss you, it’s you’re missing me. Pas je te manque, mais c’est tu me manques pour “I miss you”

instead of I’m being taken out of a place and the world changes in my insular place, it’s really me that’s feeling alone and not quite there

Filed under: life, , ,

I’m OK

Things got out of hand, still are
I don’t know how I got into this mess

I do
But I knew what not to do and did it anyway

Well it’s now a nightmare I can’t wake up from

Filed under: life

May 2015
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