ta reese a: tease era

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sometimes it all check off

Sometimes everything checks off except the chemistry. Everything. We can’t label our own attraction, can we?

Filed under: life

dodged it

does it matter

does it matter that it does matter to me?

Filed under: random

why are you telling me this

Why are you helping me keep tabs on something that I don’t want to know about anymore?

I’m curious but I don’t try to search for the information myself anymore so maybe it’s time you stop looking for that information, too.

Filed under: feelings, ,

sometimes I reply to be polite

After reading an article about the word “just” affecting my tone and meaning, I’m trying to not sure the word “just” as much.

Anyway, a lot of times I don’t want to reply but I don’t want to be mean. It’s occurred to me that the reason why he’s so responsive to me is because no one really wants to talk to him or no one wants to bother replying to some of the things he says. In the beginning I had a lot of trouble believing he was saying what he did. It was offensive at times, ignorant often, and non-deserving of response more.

Do I talk to him because he’s available or because I value his responses? Because I don’t feel it’s the latter. Our friendship is mostly based on his closeness with my actual close friends and my frustration. He never replies as I’d want a friend to and I feel like I keep him around if only to have a reminder of what ignorance can lead to. I also feel responsible, as a human, to not let him continue with the ideas that he has.

I want to be a positive influence but is this the right way? What if his annoyingness is rubbing off on me?

Filed under: friendships

Things I can and can’t change

DUFF. There’s a book titled that and the first time I saw it, I thought, wow, it must suck for your identity to revolve around your self-labeling with such negative words. Then I realized that my insecurities are mostly from seeing myself as that too. I’m not as pretty as those I surround myself with and I’m not as slender either. Most times, even though I know I should be grateful that I’m not approached by people being creepy, a part of me thinks, it’s because I’m not as pretty.

I can change my mindset and I can exercise more so for the next two months of summer, those are going to be my summer goes.

Filed under: feelings, life,

…sarcasm? the way it explains why dating is hard

Reactions to these blog posts:

http://www.mtlblog.com/2015/06/dating-in-montreal-sucks-and-heres-why/ and the follow-up http://www.mtlblog.com/2015/06/montreal-man-honestly-responds-to-the-dating-in-montreal-sucks-and-heres-why-article/

I don’t think the original article was supposed to be taken seriously. It’s so sexist in the way it implies women should be treated…

  1. Splitting the bill. I have a job. I’m capable of paying my way. I’d read a comment somewhere (I think a 9gag post) about how when guys pay, sometimes there’s this sense of entitlement that comes with it. Like I paid for you so you owe me something physical. Personally, I don’t like the power imbalance that comes with someone paying for me. I enjoy being treated but I have every intention of balancing it out. Though women are still paid less per dollar than men earn for the same jobs…but we need equal pay, not to smooth out it out with meals.
    1. This is a dig at “golddiggers”
  2. Why are you assuming that we lack the sense to dress for the weather or that we’d go into a situation and rely on a guy for our comfort. Women are capable of dressing fashionably and appropriately. Please.
    1. This is a dig at women caring more about looks than practicality
  3. Keeping the door open for someone if you’ve walked through first is human decency. This “always let the woman go first” business… I don’t understand it. The woman can be the face of the duo as well. Everyone, let’s just open doors for people that around.
    1. This is a dig at the need for princess treatment
  4. Timeliness is great on anyone.
    1. This is a dig at the stereotyped woman who isn’t on time and is “getting ready” when a date has to wait for her. This also undermines a woman’s ability to commute to a meeting place.
  5. Giving up a seat. I think you should do this if it’s for someone who’s pregnant, older, or disabled and unfortunately there’s a gender bias towards women since pregnant women are lumped in that group. I don’t understand the rationale behind giving up a seat at a friend’s home though? I feel like sometimes these odd exceptions are done to be “chivalrous” but really it reinforces how women need to be given preferential treatment…which is funny because this doesn’t happen in the workplace. Just equal out the hiring and promotional rates between men and women (or otherwise identified), the things that matter, not focus on silly life things like giving up a seat. Don’t give me a chair because of my gender. Give it up if I have a physical frailty that makes me need it more than you.
  6. No one should talk with a mouth full, so this one I agree with. Please conform to these society standards that we’re so used to when in this North American context.
  7. Advising a man to make sure he brings a woman to her front steps after drinks. I feel like this would put both parties at a more vulnerable position. It’s late, you have alcohol in you, and you’re near a room. Depending on the company, I don’t know if this would make a woman more or less safe.
  8. Don’t disrespect people working in service – I agree.
  9. Because this is in an post about so-called common problems with Montreal men, this point implies that a woman being unrealistic and needy is typical. Instead the author could’ve said to have clear communication to show maturity. This is something we should do as humans. Why are we prescribing all these things to men and saying they must be “gentlemen” and that women should look for these treatments?
  10. She got this one right. Man or woman, using the word “slut” to shame someone or tarnish a reputation – that’s wrong.

The article is writing from a heterosexual relationship POV, so I’m responding with these gendered pronouns.

I feel like this whole article was set up in a way where someone was supposed to respond, “How can you expect all these from a man when you women…[insert sexist stereotypes here]…”

Filed under: feelings, life, Montreal, people, , , , ,

infuriating

I don’t know how people like you still exist. I don’t know how you can hold on to such antiquated thoughts. It’s one thing to claim freedom of speech – that’s important – but it’s another to infringe on another’s rights. There are limits when one right starts hurting another. I’m not saying your ideas are wrong because of the times nor because your religion is not “trendy.” I’m saying that you’re building your stance on intolerance and that’s not okay.

It’s funny how you think you’re being a bigger person for being the minority, existing in a world that is accepting of different sexualities, while you’re grasping at reasons for continuing discrimination. Yes, you’re admitting to your biases, but you don’t understand the other side and you don’t try to. You can’t claim to love your friends but rally for denying them a basic right. You’re treating them like they’re second-class (enjoying marriage and then telling others they can’t do the same) while priding yourself on being loving and open to all. Your interpretation is opposite of what goodness your religion preaches. It’s dangerous that you’re supposed to be an example for younger people.

I’m sorry that you live in a way where your life and thoughts aren’t ruled by yourself but the dogma forced upon you by your parents and peers. You’ve selected to be in the same environment and are defensive to all those with varied thoughts. I’m trying to understand where you’re coming from. I’m asking exploration questions to learn more because I rarely come across those thoughts in real life. (I like surrounding myself with open-minded individuals.) I want to know if you’ve ever really thought about what everyone else was saying to you or if you’ve written us off as wrong and not let any words enter into listening ears.

You don’t really listen. You hear voices speak but you’re rehearsing your own thoughts, prepping for your own speech, moment of undeserved glory. Unfortunate

Filed under: life, people, ,

incite conversation

I love bringing books around because other book lovers (or curious minds) will start talking to me about the book or topics close to it.

Filed under: books, life

I know you didn’t know

but you were my comedic relief.

Filed under: life

when you look at a picture

I think you can usually pick out who a person would go for partner-wise.

Filed under: random,

August 2015
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