ta reese a: tease era

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I’m a walking book advertisement

I spend so much time on public transit reading and waving books in faces that I’m really a book-sized ad for at least 2 hours everyday.

I’m conflicted on what should be my next read: Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic to the Stars, Jodi Picoult’s Leaving Time, or Graeme Simsion’s The Rosie Effect? All of them have the potential to be one night (as in straight into the early AMs) reads.

Filed under: books

You might be grossed out

I read a lot and I know the types of books that I’ll enjoy. Sometimes I receive books that I know I wouldn’t want to create time to read. (Because come on now, we’re all busy people who have to make time for things that we truly value.) With these books, I send them to the washroom. These are the books that I’ll read when I have absolutely nothing else to do. I mean, I know some people like using their phones in there, but if there’s a book that I’ll honestly never pick up otherwise, it becomes a bathroom book.

Filed under: books

Work & cliques

How do you feel like you fit in when they’re so non-inviting?

Also lately…
I see the bottle of bleach and I think
It’s so easy
Why are there no glass barriers?
I see the traffic and I think
It’s so easy
Why do we stand alone?
Those sidewalks

If you had a moment of confusion or sadness or daringness
It’s so easy

Filed under: life, problems

I will wait

If I wait a bit longer, I would probably have long enough hair to donate the 8 inches.

The wind is supposed to reach gusts of 40 km/h today. I’m staying on land but hope those on the water stay safe.

Filed under: random

too carb happy

I’ve had enough carbs to last a few days.

Filed under: health, random

more alike than different

Does it frighten you how uncannily similar we are? I mean I guess you wouldn’t know since you didn’t google up my life like I did yours. But if you did, you’d slowly retreat shaking your head, too.

Filed under: in my opinion, random

Another one for the bucket list

Ride a camel 🐪

Filed under: random

Dear universe, where’s option four?

I feel like you’re putting these people in my life to gently teach me that if I keep waiting I’ll meet someone who encompasses what I need.

When I felt that intense physical attraction that I didn’t understand, and to someone on and off with the charm, you threw at me a guy that treated me extraordinarily well. He was everything I wanted on my short checklist of human values and necessities. Every time he did something kind, like brought me something I’d mentioned, left no unknowns for how he felt, no shortage of compliments nor things to do, I thought Why am I even attracted to the other guy when I know that he’d never do any of these things? And indeed, why? And why was it that all I could feel was friendship alternating with guilt and dread combined towards the one that did treat me well? Was it too much to ask for feelings of attraction coming from me? Was his role in my life simply to serve as a contrast and a this is why the other guy is all wrong for you kind of warning? Suppress whatever feeling is there.

And for the guy that I talk to every night, literally the last person I talk to before falling asleep, nearly a best friend, why is it that that kind of friendship can’t be replicated with someone I feel emotionally, romantically attached to? The endless conversations that we have, the effort in keeping the flow and contribution, and the comfort I feel telling him anything…now that I know I’m capable of having these new kinds of relationships with people, know that my body can react in these ways, and know that mentally what I need there are people who possess these traits, I’m finding it difficult to settle for less.

When will you introduce me to someone who is all three?

Filed under: feelings, friendships, from my understanding, list, problems

A case of extreme stupidity

I guess it was one of those moments when it finally hit me how scary it is that a person can turn on and off the charm so easily.

I just need enough distance so that I feel nothing.

Filed under: feelings, life, problems

Thought experiment: If

On Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, if you posted a photo of a pregnancy test that tested positive without commentary, what would be the reactions of your family and friends? I’m imagining a few:

  • worries about sexual abuse
  • congratulations
  • the “you never told me about him” outrage
  • links to research about reliability of tests
  • “wow, we need to catch up”

What kind of person do they perceive you as? What kind of person do you expect them to expect you to be? Curious.

Filed under: friendships, random, ,

October 2014
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